my problematic love life

i don't know but seems like everytime i get close to someone and i
found something that doesn't feel fit with me, aku bisa mendadak step
back/aside and trying to see everything first before decided to go for
it or not. Mungkin itu sebabnya aku selalu tertutup kalo lagi close to
someone as I want to take a closer look without being noticed :). yes
well i admit again kalo aku memang sempet marah kenapa aku ga bisa
keep my first relationship intact, so i'm trying to avoid getting into
the same situation again. This condition has put me into several
destructive moments. That's why i never want anybody to know it first
before i make a move so that i can be more prepared for all situation.
Well i know thats my fault and i'm trying to just let it go and go on
with a new "fresh book".
Ok, now to this point I think I like a girl. The thing is that, she's not from my play gank, heard a little picky, never have an ex before, so interesting eh. Been trying to follow her from a distance (really), she seems pretty nice and rather calm on every situaion. We'll see deh ya. Think she has something that I want.
Coba baca dari below passage deh. I was trying to get clear point of view for almost the whole day!!!!
This is just a simple passage but with a very deep meaning.

1 Corinthians 13
Love
1If I speak in the tongues[a] of men and of angels, but have not
love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the
gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and
if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am
nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to
the flames,[b] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast,
it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not
easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight
in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always
trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease;
where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is
knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in
part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I
was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned
like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.
12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see
face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I
am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest
of these is love.