Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved.
~ Victor Hugo ~

I got this quote from disuatu hari.
She always has some interesting quotes.
Well, now this quote has made me intriqued to think about my relationship with some of my friends.
I have been really closed 2 different kind of groups when I used to be in Chicago.
The first group is the first ones that I know since I arrived in Chicago, basically they're my sister's friends, and they are very close to me as well until the day I left Chicago. Most of them are couples, I have one bestfriend who's still single (almost not) among this couples, but he left for California last year.
The second group is mostly singles whom I firstly met during our Christmas celebration last year. They were my closest friends for several months, I love them dearly until now. Before and after the Christmas event, they keep gathered almost everyday. There were times, during several lasts months my stay overthere, I experienced kind of set back on this relationship with the second group. Sometimes I just felt they never ask me to go out with them anymore, they didn't want to hang around with me anymore etc etc, I didn't feel that feeling at first since I still gathered with the first group until lately I started to feel that way and I started complaining and seeking information why did they do that to me. Did I do something wrong? I was kinda angry with them.
And suddenly, I got the point.
Well, I used to be the one who most of the time come up with the idea of doing something, go some place, movie, or just simply gather at my place even chipped in the ideas of starting a fellowship among us, and after that, my mind was consentrating in finding jobs, setting up plan b for my future, getting closer to my malaysian friend, getting in trouble with my action which developed false feeling from my two friends. that's make me surprised as well when 2 friends falsely thought I had feeling with them.. sorry, think that was my faults) as well as some members getting busy preparing this year's Chrismas party and 2 become lover :).
So after thinking about this, made me realize that they actually didn' make this feeling happen, I'm the one.
Well, of course we can't create a well cohesive kind of relationship when we're single, expecially when you live in an environment which see people getting in and out all the time. Whenever there's new friend, then of course people started to shift and leave the one that didn't feel needed.
I also talked to my dear friend and well yes I even thought about my relationship with God. Which of course I mostly seek Him only when I need Him. I feel so ashamed when thinking about this.
That's why I want to change all this situation, I want to respect Him more and I want to respect my friends more.
We need to see every problem from different perspective point of view so that you can understand that better.
What was wrong that time is that "I want to be loved, I want to be needed, I want to be put in a light". That's so naif right?
Well I always accuse people want to be most favourable guy in the neighborhood. Well without realizing it, I am one of them as well.
I am trying to learn for the better from all my past experiences and jump to the next level. remember the quote that I got " use the past experience as a spring board, not a sofa".
Hopefully I can grow to become a better person in Him everyday.